Finally, came back home.
It has been brutal week. Not even able to post my daily journal. Shit happened till last day.
One thing I learned from this week is I am so stupid.
Still making mistakes and living under some sort of fantasies. I cannot say no nor control my emotions. Priorities were deteriorated and energies were wasted. Worst of all, I have been being used. All this, damaged my ego, brought me back to low self-esteem.
I will not allow this kind shit happened from my own stupidity anymore.
Why do I need to suffer from other people’s plans and priorities?
I am going to switch focus to my own priorities, keep removing unnecessary emotions and only take care of myself and important things / people to me.
Fighting this disease also makes me suppressing those true emotions – anger – pretending I am calm.
But, why should I suppress and hide my true emotions? How long am I going to stick with this “nice guy” misconception?
If I need to fight back or if I need to engage a battle, I will annihilate all those selfish people.
Maintaining calm inside only works if people treat me without hiding or with second agenda.