Day 47 – introspection

10 days of long but invaluable break is about to end.

To wrap up, I had some introspection time to go-over past days during the break. From my atypical counting, it would be from day 38 to today, day 47.

Those 10 days have been worked as somewhat isolated laboratory setting, where I have luxury to observe and learn what’s really going on. In this set-up, all those things, good or bad, could happen really happened so I could have perfect chance to observe more and learn more about those and my symptoms.

Now, I know exactly what’s going on and finally found how to manage. Based on profound realization thanks to this long break.

Before, I was more reactive. Because of fear. This fear of everything made me to do lots of things to get away from it. Keep myself running and running. Relying on others.

Now, I am able to preemptively preventing myself from falling into those negativeness. Because finally I removed all fears. Not only fears, those causes of negativeness.

Because of this, mental strength has been dramatically improved. Additional bonus on top of this is my physical health has been also improved a lot thanks to many outdoor / indoor exercise.

Today, I finally see the light at the end of tunnel. Maybe next one or two more sessions, I can discuss next steps with my doctor.

Time to get out and be ready for the sky. I will fly higher soon.

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