Day 45

All the habits were done and nothing really left. All day was sort of struggle with myself, continuously keeps myself occupied – mostly physical stuff. I think more than 12 hours of decluttering and exercising at the gym.

Even if melatonin, my sleep quality has been deteriorated. Perhaps worrying about R. Looking back my day 3, I guess she’s struggling more. Hope she’s okay. Hoping her being well and not disturbing her is only thing I can do from here.

Well, time to take those pills again. Feel lethargic and time to call it a day. If I stay longer, I probably get into negativeness and I don’t think I can hold.

Let’s bring up positiveness to take advantage of atypical characteristic of my disease – thinking about those weekends full of laugh and warmth.

Good night.

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