Two important message from the session today;
- Told him I kind of figured out some ways to switch my mood to positive side. Very positive thing he told me was if I keep practicing this, eventually, the switching speed will be increased and someday it will be automatic so I don’t need to have self-awareness and put effort. Yay!
The other thing which came to me big was the anger is somewhat two step process. Meaning 1) feeling some negativeness or thinking negative stuff then 2) expresing what I got step 1) via anger.
For example, negative feelings like frustration, pressure, nonsense, jealousy, worries, hunger, any uncomfortableness are not really “anger”. Me just convert them as anger and usually expressed via explosive anger
So, he’s recommendation is be more frank about feelings in step 1) and name them one bye one. In other words, more detail level observation of my feelings, not perceive them just as anger. However, he warned me it won’t be easy for normal mind as well.
Speaking of which, I am a bit afraid of tomorrow:
Playing piano, watching movie, walking or riding under the sun options are not available at work. But, I cannot keep avoid going to the office. I need to confront it and develop way to manage this step 1) feelings.
Weapons for tomorrow are;
– My beliefs in my therapist
– Eyedrops & special towel
– Then playlist full with healing songs
– Or, courage to walk away from the problem or pressure
May the force be with me.