Day 5

First crisis hit me hard today. First “normal” workday since the treatment and I underestimated the situation I was going to face.

Beginning from the morning, I was slowly going down, negative thinking started emerging. It started from a little discomforting side effects of Champix I took in the morning. I thought it was a short-term downfall I could recover from.

Then, back to back meetings, not having a time to relax, I was getting into this level – irritation and despair. Old mania symptoms popped up and I was a bit panicked as well as disappointed that all the positive signs past 4 days were gone.

My private therapist, willing to talk to me over the phone, and I told everything to her including something sounded harsh to her. But, she listened well and provided me also candid from her heart and deeply considered advices.

From here, I slowly recovered and finally able to sit and write down this blog.

Lessons learned today that need immediate actions

  1. Don’t take Champix in the morning and don’t touch ciggy again. Smoking piggy after some period of quit time destroying my self-esteemed not to mention my health
  2. Try to secure some time for relax even if it’s a busy day. I need some break to do non-work related stuff. This one I need advices.
  3. Remember respond not react mentra. I keep pay attention how “others” think and “others” feel. And hugely depending on this. This is not a good time to think this way. Cause I have a disease to deal with.
  4. Don’t overly rely on “to do” list. Surprisingly I found today that even putting some tasks in my to-do app created stress. I used to live by 3 things per day rule but I keep forgetting it.

Tomorrow should be a better day. Lessons learned everyday and eventually I believe not just getting out of this disease but also becoming happy person. I can do this cause I have a person I can count on (and thanks for the picture!).

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2 thoughts on “Day 5

  1. Today was just a Bad Day but you are making progress day by day. You are learning lots of lessons here and it will definitely make your way to become a happier person.
    I’m praying for your recovery.

    Liked by 1 person

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