First crisis hit me hard today. First “normal” workday since the treatment and I underestimated the situation I was going to face.
Beginning from the morning, I was slowly going down, negative thinking started emerging. It started from a little discomforting side effects of Champix I took in the morning. I thought it was a short-term downfall I could recover from.
Then, back to back meetings, not having a time to relax, I was getting into this level – irritation and despair. Old mania symptoms popped up and I was a bit panicked as well as disappointed that all the positive signs past 4 days were gone.
My private therapist, willing to talk to me over the phone, and I told everything to her including something sounded harsh to her. But, she listened well and provided me also candid from her heart and deeply considered advices.
From here, I slowly recovered and finally able to sit and write down this blog.
Lessons learned today that need immediate actions
- Don’t take Champix in the morning and don’t touch ciggy again. Smoking piggy after some period of quit time destroying my self-esteemed not to mention my health
- Try to secure some time for relax even if it’s a busy day. I need some break to do non-work related stuff. This one I need advices.
- Remember respond not react mentra. I keep pay attention how “others” think and “others” feel. And hugely depending on this. This is not a good time to think this way. Cause I have a disease to deal with.
- Don’t overly rely on “to do” list. Surprisingly I found today that even putting some tasks in my to-do app created stress. I used to live by 3 things per day rule but I keep forgetting it.
Tomorrow should be a better day. Lessons learned everyday and eventually I believe not just getting out of this disease but also becoming happy person. I can do this cause I have a person I can count on (and thanks for the picture!).