Day 3

Day 3 and it is the first weekend. Since I don’t have to work, I have monitored very closely about my mood and how it’s influenced by my activities. Just to see (frankly eager to see) if there’s any progress so far. Overall, I am not really suffering from tangled chain of thoughts today.

Quality sleep and meditation

Slept quiet well after long walk and pleasant conversation with R last night. Deep sleep more than 3 hours. Much better than the night of day 1. Early morning meditation definitely helped a lot. Should I remove melatonin tonight?

Depakote ER

Severe mania – sudden anger, anxiety, irritation, worries and even excitement – almost have converged to 0. Must be the drug effect but peace of mind is here. Sudden burst of tears is still there but it’s a lot weaker than before. This is exactly the doctor told me. Severe mania first then depression.

Controlled food and exercise

Tried not too eat much and only eat foods I like. Also, did about one hour exercise at the gym to squeeze out sweats. As a result less anxiety…

Conclusion

With removal of severe mania – I feel my concentration level is up. Most of all, I am not under much pain in my mind. In other words, I was really under continuous pain and definitely I am sick. Let’s keep working on it so that I can feel “true happiness” again.

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