Lots of negativeness suffocating me all of sudden.
Wonderful and motivating days were gone way before.
Sensing of tide changes to this negative downfall is not bearable.
Knew this was coming.
Knew this was coming from January and February this year.
But not much thing could be done to prevent it.
Recovering shoshin was ideal and only way to deal this situation.
However, brining up shoshin got destroyed by you and me.
One of reason why I have been crying a lot is.
We knew the fix but we didn’t have chance to actually put the fix into the problem.
Only remaining is losing control, losing momentum, feeling of loss and endless supply of emptiness.
Please help me.